Her Facebook post was meant to be humorous, not a solicitation for advice. Instead, it was meant to be a comedic head-nod to all the new-year weight-watchers who were already weary of salad — which was just about everyone.

Thus, she posted a hilarious quip from her recent class on weight and healthy living, a way to diffuse her very real and ongoing battle against weight and help fellow strugglers to find a little laughter along the way.

I smiled when I saw it. She’s one of my funniest friends, always finding the quirky moments in everyday life. I love the way she tells the truth about her weight journey, how she faces the rollercoaster of it with raw honesty and characteristic humor. I’ve watched her fight her battle over many years, and I know from our close friendship how difficult it truly is, how it has defined her life in many ways. And although she longs for it to be easier, for the weight to fall off and the fight to end, it continues.

She anticipated soliciting a few laughs. What she didn’t anticipate, however, was the rapid fire of pointed advice:

Have you tried ______?

How about ______?

You should buy/use/do THIS.

As I read the responses, I welled up with frustration and anger on her behalf. I know they were trying to help. I know they meant well and truly believed they could make a difference in her battle.

Even so, it didn’t help.

And it didn’t make a difference — at least not a positive one. Instead, all that advice only made her feel less understood and more alone.

She didn’t need her friends to fix her. She needed her friends to be with her.